Comments on: Spousal Support Saga Continues http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/ Survive the Tough Times, Get Out of Debt and Save Money Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:01:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: cindys http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12533 cindys Wed, 31 Mar 2010 11:28:27 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12533 Nichelle, good luck fighting it. We finally got it reduced to a reasonable amount but only because there was a change of circumstances. Nichelle, good luck fighting it. We finally got it reduced to a reasonable amount but only because there was a change of circumstances.

]]> By: nichelle http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12532 nichelle Wed, 31 Mar 2010 04:02:47 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12532 The alimony laws are unfair and beyond riduclous regardless of gender. I am a female in NC who is the custodial parent of our 5 yr old son and paying my ex $1300 a month because he was a 'dependent spouse' because of his disability. He had a very aggressive lawyer who was able to swindle me into an unbelievable separation agreement that I surely thought I would be able to challenge. ..NOT!!...still fighting... The alimony laws are unfair and beyond riduclous regardless of gender. I am a female in NC who is the custodial parent of our 5 yr old son and paying my ex $1300 a month because he was a ‘dependent spouse’ because of his disability. He had a very aggressive lawyer who was able to swindle me into an unbelievable separation agreement that I surely thought I would be able to challenge. ..NOT!!…still fighting…

]]> By: A http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12382 A Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:59:39 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12382 Have you considered consulting with a pro bono attorney? I will keep this situation in my prayers. I'm so sorry and extend my deepest sympathy and prayers to you. She must be a very disturbed human being. It's a good thing you aren't with her anymore! Have you considered consulting with a pro bono attorney? I will keep this situation in my prayers. I’m so sorry and extend my deepest sympathy and prayers to you. She must be a very disturbed human being. It’s a good thing you aren’t with her anymore!

]]> By: Equality? http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12262 Equality? Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:49:14 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12262 Welcome to the "Man's" world we here so much about. Even though the gender-wage gap was proven to be a myth of special interest research (i.e. men and women with the same education, experience and position make the EXACT same amount), they don't even factor in the "invisible" money alimony allows. Factor free money with "no-fault" divorce and you see why 70% of the divorces are filed by women. I don't blame women for this as much as I blame a society that is eager to go after "big daddy," take his money and distribute it to the poor hungry women and children...but although it is usually painted this way, more often than not, it ends up in a no-win situation of peonage with a debtor's prison awaiting. Everything we've abolished as draconian thinking has been institutionalized by our government in our personal lives...specifically marriage. They deem a man to be held responsible for his vows whether or not he did anything that "made" her file for a divorce...and her, oh don't worry about it sweetie, the state has you covered. Poor thing...we'll take it from him even though you had an affair and are ready to move in with your boss. I can see alimony being used by the court to help someone get back on their feet if their spouse leaves them, but YOU CANNOT award money to someone who chooses to leave! AND, the "award" has to be realistic. If he can't pay it (note the gender specific statement), and he shows he can't, then it should be "forgiven" as future payment for current help does not satisfy the reason for the order. It serves only to punish, which I have to agree with you, shouldn't be the case. So as a society, are we supposed to punish men for getting married? Or just marrying the wrong women? Or should everyone be equal and responsible and accountable for their own decisions? Welcome to the “Man’s” world we here so much about. Even though the gender-wage gap was proven to be a myth of special interest research (i.e. men and women with the same education, experience and position make the EXACT same amount), they don’t even factor in the “invisible” money alimony allows. Factor free money with “no-fault” divorce and you see why 70% of the divorces are filed by women.

I don’t blame women for this as much as I blame a society that is eager to go after “big daddy,” take his money and distribute it to the poor hungry women and children…but although it is usually painted this way, more often than not, it ends up in a no-win situation of peonage with a debtor’s prison awaiting. Everything we’ve abolished as draconian thinking has been institutionalized by our government in our personal lives…specifically marriage.

They deem a man to be held responsible for his vows whether or not he did anything that “made” her file for a divorce…and her, oh don’t worry about it sweetie, the state has you covered. Poor thing…we’ll take it from him even though you had an affair and are ready to move in with your boss.

I can see alimony being used by the court to help someone get back on their feet if their spouse leaves them, but YOU CANNOT award money to someone who chooses to leave! AND, the “award” has to be realistic. If he can’t pay it (note the gender specific statement), and he shows he can’t, then it should be “forgiven” as future payment for current help does not satisfy the reason for the order. It serves only to punish, which I have to agree with you, shouldn’t be the case.

So as a society, are we supposed to punish men for getting married? Or just marrying the wrong women? Or should everyone be equal and responsible and accountable for their own decisions?

]]> By: cindys http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12236 cindys Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:09:38 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12236 Grace, in the state of VA infidelity absolutely severs the right to spousal support. If Randy doesn't pay they will incarcerate him. They did it last summer... he got 4 months or until he paid $5000. He would just be getting out now but some very dear friends of ours paid the $5K. We will pay them back some way, some how, some day but I don't know how. Grace, in the state of VA infidelity absolutely severs the right to spousal support. If Randy doesn’t pay they will incarcerate him. They did it last summer… he got 4 months or until he paid $5000. He would just be getting out now but some very dear friends of ours paid the $5K. We will pay them back some way, some how, some day but I don’t know how.

]]> By: Grace http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12235 Grace Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:38:19 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12235 I work with a lot of poor women, including many who deserve but don't get the spousal support they have coming. Infidelity is truly irrelevant. The length of the marriage, and each party's job prospects, as well as their disabilities is what is at issue. Most people in Randy's position just stop paying. I'm surprised the court doesn't give him more credit for sending some money each month, just as I'm surprised that his disabilities aren't factored in. It doesn't do his ex much good to have a huge judgment if he's got no income to garnish. Courts need to get realistic about this. I work with a lot of poor women, including many who deserve but don’t get the spousal support they have coming. Infidelity is truly irrelevant. The length of the marriage, and each party’s job prospects, as well as their disabilities is what is at issue. Most people in Randy’s position just stop paying. I’m surprised the court doesn’t give him more credit for sending some money each month, just as I’m surprised that his disabilities aren’t factored in. It doesn’t do his ex much good to have a huge judgment if he’s got no income to garnish. Courts need to get realistic about this.

]]> By: Mandy Sue http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12232 Mandy Sue Sat, 03 Oct 2009 05:25:36 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12232 Is there a way you can have the divorce settlement challenged and reviewed? In most states, infidelity and/or abandonment severs rights to alimony, right? We're always hearing about cases being reviewed and challenged long after the initial verdict, could this be a time to invest some money (even if you have to borrow it, and I know that really hurts at this point) to prevent being continually bled? Is there a way you can have the divorce settlement challenged and reviewed? In most states, infidelity and/or abandonment severs rights to alimony, right? We’re always hearing about cases being reviewed and challenged long after the initial verdict, could this be a time to invest some money (even if you have to borrow it, and I know that really hurts at this point) to prevent being continually bled?

]]> By: cindys http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12231 cindys Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:44:24 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12231 I understand the legalities involved but you would think... and hope that the laws would be applied with some justice. His ex sniffles and gets all teary eyed and that's that.... I am not sure since she was unfaithful for 20 years why he is paying her support anyway except for the fact that he could not afford an attorney during the divorce. The one thing I have learned is that it REALLY pays to spend the money for an attorney. I understand the legalities involved but you would think… and hope that the laws would be applied with some justice. His ex sniffles and gets all teary eyed and that’s that…. I am not sure since she was unfaithful for 20 years why he is paying her support anyway except for the fact that he could not afford an attorney during the divorce. The one thing I have learned is that it REALLY pays to spend the money for an attorney.

]]> By: ATV Auctions http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12229 ATV Auctions Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:42:18 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12229 I am sorry to hear about your ongoing legal problems with paying spousal support. You'd think judges would be a little kinder in setting spousal support payments at a level that the person could reasonably pay. There needs to be protection for both sides of these issues. I am sorry to hear about your ongoing legal problems with paying spousal support. You’d think judges would be a little kinder in setting spousal support payments at a level that the person could reasonably pay. There needs to be protection for both sides of these issues.

]]> By: marci http://achingdebts.com/spousal-support-saga-continues/comment-page-1/#comment-12218 marci Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:21:31 +0000 http://achingdebts.com/?p=570#comment-12218 Just make sure you keep your income from that new job completely separate from his assets. Just make sure you keep your income from that new job completely separate from his assets.

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