Blood From A Turnip: An Alimony Story

Posted on July 12, 2009
Filed Under Personal, survival | 20 Comments

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It is commonly said that you cannot get blood from a turnip. Apparently the legal system in this County has found otherwise. Over the past few months, I have been a witness to a case where they have certainly succeeded and continue to try. I apologize if this is lengthy but it is 5 years condensed. I tried to be as brief as possible.

R was disabled in 2003 after working for 17 years for Nonprofit Corp. He received long term disability insurance payments until the Spring of 2004 when he received a lump sum payment. He used the majority of this sum to pay off both marital bills and his wife’s credit card bills. (I mention this simply because this is not a case of a spouse who quits his job or becomes ‘disabled’ to avoid paying support. R was out on disability almost a full year before he was separated from his wife.)

He waited the appropriate period of time and applied for Social Security Disability. As anyone knows who has ever applied for disability, this is an ongoing and lengthy process of denials and appeals. In the meantime, he has been left to earn whatever meager income that he can.

He was separated from his wife in the Summer of 2004. She filed for spousal support and was awarded $1300 per month. This is from a man who had no regular income. At the time, he had a small amount of income from his horse business. The judge stated at that time that he had no idea how to figure spousal support payments in this case. He used an average of the deposits from the past three year’s bank statements. Two of those years, R was working and the final year he was receiving disability payments. He never took into account that his current income had been drastically reduced from that amount.

Having little or no income and not being able to pay a retainer, R was forced to represent himself in his divorce. Nothing was mentioned about spousal support until the very end of the trial when his ex-wife’s attorney asked the judge not to address it at that time but to remand it back to the juvenile and domestic court. Not being an attorney, R had no idea that this would make it a permanent part of the divorce decree and so he did not object. The divorce was granted in the Fall of 2007.

Since then it has been found that R has a degenerative joint condition that is affecting both hips . The hip joints are collapsing and they cause him extreme pain. He has gone from taking over the counter pain relievers to taking 3 different prescriptions for pain. On good days, he can walk without crutches. On bad days even the crutches don’t help. He is scheduled for one hip replacement in a few months. Hopefully, if he recovers well from the first replacement then the second will come soon after.

R’s ex-wife filed a show cause for non payment of support last fall. Even though R is living below the poverty level and is currently receiving food stamps and has not been able to work for years, the court ordered him to pay $5000 within 30 days. Needless to say, it was not possible. Not having any source of income, R could not even borrow the money. In April, he was incarcerated for contempt until the $5,000 was paid. With the help of his family and some very, very good friends, I was able to raise the money to have him released.

R appealed the court’s decision and asked for either modification of the spousal support or preferably termination as he is currently unable to work. Monday, July 6^th, the judge denied the appeal. His reasoning was that R could not work when the support was ordered, he could not work when the divorce was final and he still can’t work so nothing has changed.

After hearing of R’s medical conditions and lack of income, his ex-wife requested a sheriff’s sale so that the court would force the sale of the rest of his personal belongings. Apparently both she and the court believe that you can get blood out of a turnip.

No one who is familiar with R’s circumstances and the details of the case can believe that this was ordered in the first place much less that it has been confirmed again. His attorney was in shock. No one could believe that our legal system would order him to pay something that was more than his annual income. To my knowledge, he has never been asked what his current income is.

Due to the denial of the appeal, R will no doubt end up incarcerated again because there is no possible way for him to pay this. The people of the Commonwealth of Virginia will end up paying for the senseless incarceration of another person. According to the Denver Post, the cost of incarcerating one person was $23,876 or over $65 per day and that was in 2004.

Neither of us have a clue as to what to do next. An appeal to a higher court would cost more than both our annual incomes combined. We just sit and wait for the next “Show Cause” and wonder how long it will take her to file it. We have both been so depressed that it has been hard to do anything.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please leave a comment or send me an email. There seems to be no hope.

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Comments

20 Responses to “Blood From A Turnip: An Alimony Story”

traineeinvestor (1 comments.) on July 12th, 2009 9:16 pm

Has R considered declaring bankruptcy? Unless matrimonla debts survive bankruptcy (I have no idea what the position in the US is), that would bring matters to an end.

Alternatively, the final resort is publicity. Name and shame the ex-wife, the judge(s) and the other public officials involved. Getting a senior elected official on side would help push the cause.
cindys on July 13th, 2009 7:25 am

Bankruptcy won’t work. Child and spousal support survive bankruptcy in the state of VA. Publicity is an interesting idea. I have written to the elected officials but haven’t heard back from most.
Jenn (2 comments.) on July 13th, 2009 7:42 am

On the idea of publicity, it might be worth contacting one of the local media outlets. I know one of the stations in my area occasionally covers special interest stories like this.
cindys on July 13th, 2009 7:49 am

Thanks Jenn, I will check into some of the local media. It’s a small town with several small papers and no tv. The state capital is about 50 miles away and they have tv stations that might run something like this.
Mrs Mom (3 comments.) on July 13th, 2009 8:23 am

Don’t know what else to offer you, aside from phone calls- daily- to the elected officials until someone responds.

We’ll surely be praying for you guys here!!
cindys on July 13th, 2009 8:25 am

Thanks for the prayers. We can sure use them.
Denise (26 comments.) on July 13th, 2009 9:01 am

I’m not a lawyer but am married to a man who has been pro se in marital/custody matters off and on for years. I read your entry to him and he suggested that R file a motion to modify so that his current financial situation be considered. There must be a pro se group somewhere in the state of VA, one that can guide him in how to handle this. Have you looked for one? That would be my first step from here.
marci on July 13th, 2009 7:08 pm

Sometimes talking to a county commissioner or a state representative or senator can get you the publicity you need and pull some strings. Worth a try anyway.

If he has remarried, I would suggest divorce again – to protect whatever assets there are – or to move assets if applicable.
cindys on July 14th, 2009 7:55 am

Denise, the petition to modify was denied in J & D court. He appealed it to Circuit court and the judge said nothing had changed as he wasn’t working then or now.
cindys on July 14th, 2009 8:00 am

Marci, this is my R. We have been living together but are not married. I don’t think we have enough together to auction off. He gave his sons a contract for deed (land contract) which is recorded.
odchudzanie (4 comments.) on July 14th, 2009 9:41 am

This story is really unbelievable. I though that some stories like this are happening only in my country (I’m from Poland), but I see that it can happen everywhere. We have a lot of problems with our long term disability insurance payments – we have a central insurance company which is called ZUS and this lizard is always trying to avoind payments wherever and whenever its possible.
Wish You luck.
cindys on July 14th, 2009 10:13 am

If you have read this and want to help, please post it to your favorite social media site: stumble, digg, facebook, twitter, etc. Maybe someone will read it and be able to help. I don’t know if I am desperate or hopeless. It’s just insane that this could happen. I suppose that justice is a little different in Brunswick County, Virginia
Grace (16 comments.) on July 15th, 2009 12:03 pm

I don’t have any helpful legal advice, but please know that you and R are in my thoughts. Does the court think he is hiding assets or something? Incarceration usually happens when a court believes the failure to pay support is deliberate and wilful.
cindys on July 15th, 2009 12:13 pm

Grace, I don’t know what the court believes. When the divorce was final, she ended up with all the furniture, the vehicle, and 75% of his retirement. I am not going to go into a lot of specifics because that is past history but I will say that if R had an attorney during the divorce, she would have gotten nothing. He would not involve his grown children and did not know that he could subpoena witnesses who didn’t want to come.
sus|bank charges (6 comments.) on July 16th, 2009 5:54 am

After reading this post I found that its a unbelievable story. I don’t have any legal advise. But I wish you luck. I will pray for your golden future.
anonchicky on July 18th, 2009 6:51 pm

Has R thought about just going to jail? I know plenty of people who get arrested to have access to medical and dental care that they couldn’t otherwise afford.
cindys on July 19th, 2009 7:57 am

Chicky, R went to jail for 2 days the last time she did this. It almost killed him. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to go but for someone who is in as much pain as he is, it was torture. Not only that but if he is incarcerated for any period of time, it stops the disablity appeals and he would have to start over. That would mean losing all the back disability payments which is his only hope of ever paying her anything.
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koncerty (5 comments.) on July 27th, 2009 9:56 am

It is unbelievable.
Good luck!
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